"You're an opera singer? But you're not fat!"
"No. I'm not."
"I thought opera singers were fat!"
"No. They're not."
"But don't they need to be fat to sing so loudly?"
*Dead silence.*
"No."
For you opera singers currently reading, rolling your eyes, nodding miserably because you too have had this TEDIOUS dialogue forty thousand times, before I launch my tirade, let me whet your appetites with this brilliant cartoon:
"No. I'm not."
"I thought opera singers were fat!"
"No. They're not."
"But don't they need to be fat to sing so loudly?"
*Dead silence.*
"No."
For you opera singers currently reading, rolling your eyes, nodding miserably because you too have had this TEDIOUS dialogue forty thousand times, before I launch my tirade, let me whet your appetites with this brilliant cartoon:
I assume the pictures are based on actual photos of me, pre-baby (?).
It came as a response to Hannah Furness's interview with soprano Danielle de Niese in the Telegraph last week that obviously infuriated one opera singer (and part-time cartoonist) Show Pony, and in turn has infuriated a tonne of other people. And here's why:
According to de Niese, there's a new generation of opera singers who do not fit the age-old stereotype fuelled by the expression "it ain't over til the fat lady sings." A comment like this is about as obvious as saying that there's a new generation iPad launched every year. It surprises no-one, and quite frankly, one wonders if de Niese has been living under a rock. The average opera singer hasn't been fat for decades. In fact, a fattie on the opera stage today is almost as rare as a fattie in Hollywood. Sure, you have a handful of them for comedic value, and they are almost always men. But her assertion that young audiences are "shocked" to see "slim" singers on the stage is on one hand insulting to the intelligence of those young people, on the other hand just plain stupid.
De Niese continues to say that opera singers today are increasingly known for their pop star looks and glamorous performances. Well, actually, opera is not suddenly glamorous because the likes of de Niese wear a leopard print leotard. It was glamorous in 1935 when Rosa Ponselle sang Carmen; it was PHWOAR in 1950 when Mario del Monaco sang Otello; it was Nigella-Lawson-beautiful in 1947 when Lisa Della Casa sang Der Rosenkavalier - need I go on? Opera singers were always, and still are, revered for their glamour and aesthetic beauty. Did I hear someone say Callas?
The internet is absolutely riddled with nonsensical articles about fat and opera. To give you just one example, "Why are opera singers fat?" is a headline from 2006, which is full of bogus scientific theories (bogus because guess what, opera singers aren't fat!). Incredibly, the article only manages to find one example of a non-fat singer ("the exception to the rule"), our dear Jose Carreras! Seriously?
The very question, "why are opera singers fat" is like asking "why are rugby players thickos?", "why do government workers have no sense of style?" or "why do women over 40 cut their hair off?"
It seems to me that whenever people (whoever they are, agents, managers, journalists, publicists, the singers themselves??) need to garner a bit of attention about opera, or an individual singer, they write another RIDICULOUS article about FAT. Because FAT makes people click on the link. Because FAT is the fascination of the western world. Do they really think that the only way to get people to read about opera is to dangle the FAT or NOT FAT CARROT in their faces? Puh-lease. *
AND MIGHT I ADD (gosh, this is a tirade, look at all these capital letters!) fat is in the eye of the beholder. In my mind there have not been any prominent contenders for Biggest Loser: Opera Edition in a very long time. There are stocky singers, burly singers, voluptuous and strong-looking singers. But truly fat? Very, very few. Not since 2004, the year that Pavarotti, our greatest and fattest, last graced the stage; the year that Deborah Voigt had her gastric bypass. And why, may you ask? Because a working opera singer works hard. They know that to get through that three-hour performance they have to be fit and healthy. Not thin. Not "fat." Healthy. Kiri Te Kanawa said in 2011 that singers "need a bit of beef" - I would suggest eating some beef before a few hours before a show to get a good kick of iron. Beef and vegetables with noodles.
What is heartening however are the comments following the de Niese article - generally, sensible people have written sensible things about how while looks do matter in opera (a fact nobody is disputing!), the voice is always going to be the winner on the night. Which means that most people find such articles just as stupid, irrelevant and attention-seeking as Show Pony and me.
* Sex. Sex will also make people click on the link.
It came as a response to Hannah Furness's interview with soprano Danielle de Niese in the Telegraph last week that obviously infuriated one opera singer (and part-time cartoonist) Show Pony, and in turn has infuriated a tonne of other people. And here's why:
According to de Niese, there's a new generation of opera singers who do not fit the age-old stereotype fuelled by the expression "it ain't over til the fat lady sings." A comment like this is about as obvious as saying that there's a new generation iPad launched every year. It surprises no-one, and quite frankly, one wonders if de Niese has been living under a rock. The average opera singer hasn't been fat for decades. In fact, a fattie on the opera stage today is almost as rare as a fattie in Hollywood. Sure, you have a handful of them for comedic value, and they are almost always men. But her assertion that young audiences are "shocked" to see "slim" singers on the stage is on one hand insulting to the intelligence of those young people, on the other hand just plain stupid.
De Niese continues to say that opera singers today are increasingly known for their pop star looks and glamorous performances. Well, actually, opera is not suddenly glamorous because the likes of de Niese wear a leopard print leotard. It was glamorous in 1935 when Rosa Ponselle sang Carmen; it was PHWOAR in 1950 when Mario del Monaco sang Otello; it was Nigella-Lawson-beautiful in 1947 when Lisa Della Casa sang Der Rosenkavalier - need I go on? Opera singers were always, and still are, revered for their glamour and aesthetic beauty. Did I hear someone say Callas?
The internet is absolutely riddled with nonsensical articles about fat and opera. To give you just one example, "Why are opera singers fat?" is a headline from 2006, which is full of bogus scientific theories (bogus because guess what, opera singers aren't fat!). Incredibly, the article only manages to find one example of a non-fat singer ("the exception to the rule"), our dear Jose Carreras! Seriously?
The very question, "why are opera singers fat" is like asking "why are rugby players thickos?", "why do government workers have no sense of style?" or "why do women over 40 cut their hair off?"
It seems to me that whenever people (whoever they are, agents, managers, journalists, publicists, the singers themselves??) need to garner a bit of attention about opera, or an individual singer, they write another RIDICULOUS article about FAT. Because FAT makes people click on the link. Because FAT is the fascination of the western world. Do they really think that the only way to get people to read about opera is to dangle the FAT or NOT FAT CARROT in their faces? Puh-lease. *
AND MIGHT I ADD (gosh, this is a tirade, look at all these capital letters!) fat is in the eye of the beholder. In my mind there have not been any prominent contenders for Biggest Loser: Opera Edition in a very long time. There are stocky singers, burly singers, voluptuous and strong-looking singers. But truly fat? Very, very few. Not since 2004, the year that Pavarotti, our greatest and fattest, last graced the stage; the year that Deborah Voigt had her gastric bypass. And why, may you ask? Because a working opera singer works hard. They know that to get through that three-hour performance they have to be fit and healthy. Not thin. Not "fat." Healthy. Kiri Te Kanawa said in 2011 that singers "need a bit of beef" - I would suggest eating some beef before a few hours before a show to get a good kick of iron. Beef and vegetables with noodles.
What is heartening however are the comments following the de Niese article - generally, sensible people have written sensible things about how while looks do matter in opera (a fact nobody is disputing!), the voice is always going to be the winner on the night. Which means that most people find such articles just as stupid, irrelevant and attention-seeking as Show Pony and me.
* Sex. Sex will also make people click on the link.